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can two positives make a negative?

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equally humored and deafeated there's a metallic orchestra of sounds that flood over every night. a combination of crickets on steroids mixed in with beeping tree frogs. what was once an auditory sensation that welcomed me out of LA is now a deafening reminder that i am stuck in jamaica - quarantined in an overpriced resort and trapped in a hut with a bunch of mosquitos. i'm stationed on the second floor, where beyond the wood shutters are tropical shades of lush greens, reminding me of existing in a fun treehouse. but every night, once the critters start their performance, the looming darkness no longer provides me a distraction from the octagonal walls that trap me. if the tree frogs had more volume over the locusts, it would make for a more satisfying concert. the gleeps are a nice undertone that i try to focus on. otherwise, the squeakiness of the crickets scratch at my ears and there is always one outlier that sings opposite the group. sometimes i see myself in that indivi...
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the moment i realized why i've been called gullible

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which happened this weekend when i asked my boyfriend if he thought i was gullible and an obvious yes followed. but, i like to think of it as putting trust into things that feel like good energy. sometimes you can't really quantify why something feels safe, but it just does. a few months ago, my neighbor, rebecca aka buck, gave me some joints that she didn't want, that another friend gave her, that she got from this neighbor - all within highland park. it's some smooooth weed; i know you can't buy a high that lovely.  i invited puno to come with me becase she asked me about a weed hookup for her 10 year love feast. and - let me JUST fucking say - how much i love a down-ass person. those are the best people.  the way we coordinated sounded like this: when i read this, i realized im gullible. the whole night - tho the energy was good, coulda been a sliver towards death. i'm too high to write out the rest of this so here's a video of our drive home
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gel manis

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this actually feels a little off for me, to start off a project without stating intent, but i truly miss an avenue of free-flow where we're not overthinking algorithms and content strategies. in fact, i keep finding ways to revisit nostalgic internet - but that's another time, another post, another thought. what i want to get off my chest right now is far more  miniscule  (this is in a different font because i copied and pasted it from thesaurus.com to 1. check spelling - which i still don't know how to spell, clearly, because i copied the wrong word indicated by the red underline  2. see if there was a better word to make my writing sound more charming - but i then have to break out of the idea of manufacturing. and let flow), it's about nails . funny writing about this while solfeggio frequencies blares out my iMac speakers at a vibration that worries if i'm disrupting something internally in the hardware. did that make sense? i just finished a late afternoon show...
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